"I feel like a lot of people have this impression that you have to spend your twenties fucking up and spending your time on people you don’t care about and making weird gambles with your heart just to have stories to tell, and I can’t relate to that. I can’t deal with that mentality. So if I’m single for a long time, I’m single for a long time. But fuck, man. I want to be honored to be in the room with a dude, ya know? I want to feel privileged to have that person laugh at my joke and poke holes in my arguments and spend their weekend afternoon with me, and if that means lamping and spending time with my friends and getting really good at being my best self, then fine. Fuck it. At the end of the day I’d rather have done a really good job at that than at taking a million desperate swings at shitty pitches just because the thought of being alone terrifies me so much."
At this point in time, I’ve probably been asked a million times by various people “what am I gonna do now that I’m graduated?!” to which I’ll often respond with I DON’T KNOW!!!!! followed by some mindless answer such as LIKE GET A JOB!?!? because there are so many options open right now and various things going on - it’s like I have to choose one path - just ONE path and stick to it for the rest of my life and my decision right now determines everything. But I don’t want that. I want to experience different things to find what I’m good at, what I’ll have a passion for so that I will make it stick and what could viably work for me. I know that by throwing myself into different situations, I’m losing precious time of specialising in one area and being really good at that. I am also doing that… but part-time. And at the end of the day, all this taste-testing just causes me to lose energy and just want to lie in bed all morning like idgaf. Or I’ll consume, consume, and I’ll consume but I won’t get anything done. So here begins my week of soul-searching. I just ordered a book I know I’ll need to guide my goals and slowed down to watch this 40 minute documentary on Tom Ford.
What I notice about him that may have been imperative to his success was his stark clarity and ability to reflect in everything he did. His overall understanding of what direction his life should take was so clear and he did not for one moment lose this line of sight or become jaded from his fame and success. One of my favourite quotes from him is,
"Contemporary culture tells us that if you want to be happy you have to be rich, you have to live in this kind of house, have those kind of shoes, need that kind of watch and as a child and young adult I had completely bought into all of that. I had the good fortune to achieve success and to understand that money and materialism doesn’t necessarily make you happy. It certainly had not made me happy."
…a civilized society compensates for the human propensity to screw up. that’s why we have single-payer firefighters and police officers. that’s why we require seat belts. when someone who has been speeding gets in a car accident, the 911 operator doesn’t sneer: “you were irresponsible, so figure out your own way to the hospital” — and hang up. to err is human, but so is to forgive. living in a community means being interconnected in myriad ways — including by empathy. to feel undiminished by the deaths of those around us isn’t heroic ayn rand individualism. it’s sociopathic. compassion isn’t a sign of weakness, but of civilization.
"The easiest way to go through life is, like, ‘I’ll take an observatory stand point and then I won’t have to go through the suffering people go through’, from engaging and becoming attached to things…it’s kind of, there’s no harm in that. Which also means there’s no bounty and no reward."
"Nobody will stop you from creating. Do it tonight. Do it tomorrow. That is the way to make your soul grow — whether there is a market for it or not! The kick of creation is the act of creating, not anything that happens afterward. I would tell all of you watching this screen: Before you go to bed, write a four line poem. Make it as good as you can. Don’t show it to anybody. Put it where nobody will find it. And you will discover that you have your reward."
"When we hold each other in the darkness, it doesn’t make the darkness go away. The bad things are still out there. The nightmares still walking. When we hold each other we feel not safe, but better. “It’s all right” we whisper, “I’m here, I love you.” and we lie: “I’ll never leave you.” For just a moment or two the darkness doesn’t seem so bad."
As different as we all are, there’s one thing most young women have in common: we’re all brought up to feel like there’s something wrong with us. We’re too fat. We’re dumb. We’re too smart. We’re not ladylike enough - ‘stop cursing, chewing with your mouth open, speaking your mind’. We’re too slutty. We’re not slutty enough.
You’re not too fat. You’re not too loud. You’re not too smart. You’re not unladylike. There is nothing wrong with you.
"You get work however you get work, but people keep working in a freelance world (and more and more of today’s world is freelance) because their work is good, because they are easy to get along with and because they deliver the work on time. And you don’t even need all three! Two out of three is fine. People will tolerate how unpleasant you are if your work is good and you deliver it on time. People will forgive the lateness of your work if it is good and they like you. And you don’t have to be as good as everyone else if you’re on time and it’s always a pleasure to hear from you."