Musings at 1:30am 

People who can get anything they want don’t intrigue me. I’ve figured out that to keep yourself happy, you must be short of something. I visualise a lot, particularly at night. I often like to imagine a future me having done and bought everything I wanted and finally able to show my loved ones this new and improved me. But that would distance myself from the people dear to me, for sure, as having things we lack was the common thread that brought us together in the first place.

This could explain why we lose interest in someone who gives us 100%, while we continue to pursue the one that offers just 90% with scarred knees and a bruised heart. I always felt like there was something lacking and so that gave me a goal. Once you poured out everything, it made me feel less special because I knew from then on, you would have less and less to give.